My post to rec.arts.bodyart

From: "Jess Bragg"
Newsgroups: rec.arts.bodyart
Subject: Here we go...
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 11:10:59 -0700

You know that feeling you get when you're just about to be pierced or tattooed, when the artist is prepping the materials and you suddenly realize that this is going to really hurt? Well, maybe it's because the magnitude of this procedure is so much greater than that of a tattoo or piercing, but I'm feeling it already, 3 days before my surgery.

I'm suddenly realizing that I'm going to be in a great deal of pain for several days, and at least some pain for weeks afterward. I'm realizing that my life is going to change dramatically. I'm realizing that I can plan and plan and still I have no clue exactly how things are going to go.

Stuff like this also makes you think about the small percentage of people who die while under general anesthesia. It's a small percentage, but it's still a lot of people, when you think about it. Keith's death was another log on that particular fire.

Keith's death. I try not to be superstitious, but sometimes stuff crops up that makes you say "Woah." Today, I was proofing a page from a new catalogue, and all the prefixes for the prices on the page were "KA". It gave me some serious willies. I told my coworker about it and she said that maybe it meant that Keith would be looking out for me, but that didn't ring true. My immediate thought was that because of the fact that I have been associating Keith's death with thoughts of my own mortality, that it was an bad omen about my chances or survival. I know it's corny and dumb, but it's what initially occurred to me. Still, being the rational person I am, there's no way in hell I'm postponing this for a superstitious twinge.

Anyway, to bring it back to topic a bit, I'm going to have an interesting set of scars from this. If the surgeon finds it necessary to switch from laparoscopic to open for this procedure (which is likely because of the fact that stuff is probably all shifted around from my splenectomy) then I will have a new scar perpendicular to my old scar. I'll have a great big cross on my tummy. Hmmm, maybe when it's all
healed, I'll get it tattooed so it looks like ribbons on a package, with a big bow on my breast. Then I'll get my nipple repierced and hang a card from it. Tacky? Yeah, I guess so. Nevermind.

Well, if anyone wants to pray, chant, or send healing thoughts, I will be having my surgery on Monday 7/25 at approximately 7:45 AM Central Time(GMT -06:00), and I will probably be on the table for upwards of 6 hours. Such spiritual help is certainly appreciated. No atheists in a foxhole, ya know.

If you're interested in the details about the procedure I'm having, check out http://really-really.blogspot.com/2005/06/four-ounces.html

Jess