OMG. That is all.

Good news, everyone!

I was able to update my shipping address on most websites. Amazon now has my correct address.

My wishlist, should you care to buy me a birthday or Christmas gift, is http://tinyurl.com/ya7d7vd.

The new apartment's effect on my birthday

Given the hassles I had with my old apartment, my new apartment is FANTASTIC. I love having Ben as a roommate, the construction is all new and pretty, I have a nice peaceful little "lakelet" view from my patio, and I'm within stumbling distance of one of my favorite bars.

However, I also have an unforeseen difficulty. Since the complex is so new, most websites do not recognize the address as valid yet. The USPS recognizes it, but most websites use a verification database that updates periodically and doesn't have the latest information.

This presents a problem because, even if I can get a rep to manually change my address in an account on a given website, the address is likely to get challenged during checkout when purchasing anything requiring shipping. This is especially unfortunate right now, because it impedes people's ability to buy me birthday gifts from my wishlist.

There are a couple of workarounds I can propose for out-of-town folks who would like to send me something for my birthday this month:

• Send it to the address on file and hope the United States Post Office forwards it without hassle. Success rate in the last month has been 50% with a sample set of two packages. :(
  
• Come visit me!
• Buy something from my Kindle wishlist.
• Look through my regular wishlist, choose something you'd like to buy me, and send me a personal gift of funds via PayPal to jess%narcissica!com (you know what to do to make that a valid address). Make sure you put in the payment note that it's for my birthday, and tell me which item from my list I am supposed to buy for myself.
  
• Send me a personal payment via PayPal for something fun and not on my list. If you're sending me enough to cover an intended purpose, you can even earmark it for something specific by adding a note telling me what frivolous item I'm supposed to buy with it (e.g. "Get yourself a pedicure", "Have a pitcher of beer on me", "Go see The Devil Makes Three at the Slowdown on Friday", etc.)
• Send me money to put toward one of my car payments for the car I had to buy to replace Strongbad when he croaked a couple of weeks ago. It's like the gift of stress reduction!

Bear in mind, I'm not pressuring anyone to get me a gift. My love for my family and friends is not conditional on the receipt of presents. However, if I would otherwise have a gift coming to me, I'd rather remove any obstacle that could prevent it!

Please feel free to post other creative solutions in the comments!

<3 Jess

Seasonal

We are Autumn,
Our colors riotous,
Joyous, spectacular,
Tenacious...
Twitching, swirling, descending,
Beautiful while we lasted.

Year in review: my 37th on the planet

So, my birthday's coming up in a few weeks. Birthdays are really important to me. I'm one of the only adults I know who still spazzes out over the importance of birthdays. I make a big deal out of other people's birthdays, because I want people to make a big deal out of mine. It's My Day. I want presents, and cake, and booze, and celebration... and most of all, I want to be treated like a princess.

And after the year I've had, I think I've freakin' earned it, ya know? Let's take a look.

I started my 37th year in the midst of a cancer scare. After 20 years of remission from Hodgkin's Disease, I had mysterious spots on my liver that showed up on two different types of scans. It wasn't until after three months of tests and waiting and fretting had passed and I was prepped for my biopsy and the surgeon wanted to do another scan, that he looked at both scans and discovered they were in different places. We were, literally, jumping at shadows.

Then my love-of-my-life relationship with Thomas crumbled into pieces.

Then I totally blew my progress on my New Year's resolution to read 100 books. I totally had it in the bag until then. F'realz.

Then I strained a ligament in my knee.

Then my car died. (RIP, Strongbad. I miss you!)

Then I ended up back in debt after climbing out of it this year.

All right, so granted, there's a silver lining for each of the above. I mean...

I didn't have cancer.

After breaking up with Thomas I became far more social and made a metric shit ton of new friends.

I haven't had time to read because I got into Rockabilly and Swing Dancing, and also found an awesome group of people that I hang with every Wednesday night solely for the purpose of drinking and wearing costumes.

My knee healed hella fast.

My car... well no, that still just kinda sucks. I mean, I have a new used car now, but I am not feeling the love for it yet.

The debt... well, I guess I did get out of debt this year just in time to field the car crisis, right?

So, I guess I'd rate this year 3 out of 5 stars.

Jess

Stormtroopers' 9/11

NEVER FORGET (this conversation)!

Click the image to see the un-smooshed version, if you care to.

Seething

I'm almost over being bitter at wasting 2 1/2 years of my dating career on monogamy. Right now I'm bitter at the financial expenditure, and the fact that it doesn't even earn me a couple of hours help cleaning out the apartment I paid for almost entirely without assistance. The utter lack of regard for me as a PERSON deserving of kept promises. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep, especially when they were unsolicited anyway.

Fresh pain

I went back to some old pics of us to reminisce... and I just discovered he unfriended me on Facebook at some point. He had stayed friended for a few months, and I figured his disappearance from the chat list was because he rarely ever signed on... but no. He untagged himself from all my photos and unfriended me... it's like I never happened in his history.

It's a fresh wound right over the old one. It hurts.

Ton of bricks

I went to a play today with my mom. It was a two-person cast, so both actors were on stage for pretty much the whole thing. One of the actors evoked this strong sense of familiarity, and I couldn't quite figure it out until the second act.

His mannerisms, movement, build, and even his looks to some degree, reminded me of Thomas. From that point on I couldn't watch the play and see the character or even the actor... all I could see was this dude who looked like Thomas.

Breaking up was the correct thing to do. I still miss him a lot.

The CDC recognizes the danger

Back in the saddle

Today is the first day I felt good since coming down with the flu Sunday night. I forced myself to work out. My lungs are still achy from coughing so I told myself that if I couldn't do my promised 2 miles/10 minutes, that would be okay. I pushed myself and did 2.1 miles/10:30. Baby steps. I'll build up some more as I go along.

Bookwise, I am am 20% complete with my challenge. The year is 21% complete. I'm much of the way through one audiobook and one Kindle book though, so I'm more or less on target. I'd still like to get a lead though. I started to read a book and found I really couldn't stand it. I was only 7% of the way through it when I pitched it, but I still lament wasted time.

My cat chewed through my earphones this morning while I was in the shower. I told him how betrayed I felt that he presented such a setback to my challenge. He looked remorseful for a moment, but it could just as easily have been about some other yet-undiscovered crime. Or it could have been gas. I replaced the earphones today. I got to Best Buy 3 minutes before closing. Win!

Just so you know

I did NOT come down with the plague just to get out of exercising.

Challenges

Reading challenge: 18% done. Year: 20% done. Still working on catching up.

Exercise challenge: 10 minutes/1.8 miles on bike yesterday. None today. Ate wings today. Feeling tubby and sad about feeling tubby. My clothes are shrinking and my scale tells vicious lies. Motivated to use the bike right now but it is late and the bike makes squeaky noises and the kids are asleep in the next room. Will work out tomorrow when I get home from work. I mean it!

Parenting challenge: Thomas had the kids all weekend over here and he was running a pretty horrific fever the entire time, which made him weak as a kitten and snowed out for the entirety of the weekend. W. was still on the tail end of his bug, and M. may or may not be coming down with one too. I mediated many disputes between twins. I fixed snacks a few times and cuddled with them while they watched netflix. I let them play with the Legos in my Creationary game and tried not to be uptight as I watched the pieces scatter everywhere several times. I procured and distributed about 12-15 glasses of water for assorted Burbach males throughout the weekend. I fetched 6 cups of tea and 3 doses of Tylenol. I took about 9 or so temperatures. I'll admit that I fled a few times - once to go to the laundromat, once to play a few card games with CJ, and again tonight to go to my Pathfinder game.

I still think I suck at stepmomming, but I did manage not to raise my voice. I wasn't even mean or anything... except for when I turned off the Wii mid-game in response to prolonged bargaining attempts after I warned that the terms for bedtime were non-negotiable. Then I was treated to a chorus of that sound that kids make that is not quite full-on crying... it's like a more sustainable form of "lite" crying that kids do when they think they'll be at it for a while and want to conserve energy to get through the long haul. It began to sound harmonic and almost soothing after a few minutes, like monks chanting. I helped them get their jammies on while they wound down.

Honestly though, the boys did really well over a tough weekend. They just saw their Grandma die in the hospital on Friday night. Then they spent a weekend watching their Dad shivering under a blanket, glassy-eyed and weak, and running a 103 temp. In their little 4 year old brains they're doing the math and wondering if Daddy is going to die. Considering that, the boys were saints.

Starting small...

Well, no... really I'm starting big and want to get small. But I will take small steps.

Today: 11 minutes/2 miles on my new second-hand-exercise-bike-with-arm-thingers-on-it (henceforth to be referred to as SHEBWATOI). Um, I also helped carry the damned heavy thing from the SUV of the woman who sold it to me and was kind enough to transport it. So that's like some lifting and stuff, too - right?

My commitment is to start with at least 3 days a week, at least 10 minutes/2 miles each time. I know it's a wussy beginning, but I will work up from there. I'd like to get into good enough shape to think buying a real bike is a good idea, and that a hash trail laid by Hand Solo is endurable.

Update on the reading challenge: Counting just the completed books, I am 16% of the way to my goal. The year is about 19% complete. I have to step it up. Perdido Street Station is seriously just CRAWLING. I don't know why everyone raves about it. I mean, it's a good book, just not as enthralling as everyone made it out to be. I'm 90% done with that, so I think a couple of big pushes should do it finally. I think I'll probably read something smutty next, just to burn through something fast.

I've been accused of cheating since several of the books I've "read" have been audiobooks. I still maintain that since they are read aloud word for word and are not adapted or interpreted, they still count. So, nyah.

Resolution

My new year's resolution is to read 100 books in 2011. I vacillate between thinking this is completely doable and thinking I'm insane for thinking I can do it. I mean, some of my reading choices are 1000-page monstrosities. Then again, sometimes I read graphic novels. I waffled over whether or not those should count and polled the audience on facebook, and the overwhelming response was that they should. (It occurs to me that maybe my resolution should have been to stop vacillating, waffling, and relying on facebook for help in decision-making, but that can always be my 2012 resolution... I mean, if people think it should. ;) )

So anyway, I decided not to count the book that I am finishing up right now that I read about 90% of in 2010, but I am counting trade paperbacks and graphic novels. I think that my new Kindle (thank you, Thomas!) will help me immensely in this undertaking, as the things that slow me down the most with bigger books are hand cramps from holding the book open, and finding a comfortable position in which to read for long periods of time. The Kindle is portable and light and I will be able to go from one book right to the next without having to carry multiple books around. There is also the option to download recorded books from Audible.com (though they are pretty pricy) and there's a text-to-speech option on most books, too. (I wonder if that's like being read to by Stephen Hawking.) I also read a tip from someone who suggested setting the TTS speed for about as fast as you can read visually and turn the sound off, and then you have an automatic page-turner for hands-free reading.

I've been building a list of suggested reads, and I can download first chapters to decide if I want to buy them. I have been adding Kindle versions of books to an Amazon wishlist. I also have a bunch of books on a watch list at eReaderIQ.com, where I can be notified when the prices drop on my listed titles.

I'm pretty excited about this. I'll try to find time enough between reads to post some updates about it. :)

Dear men of the world

Dear men of the world,

Go see a doctor. Stop putting it off. It's a few hours of your life. It's ridiculous to put off going because you know if you go they'll just find something. If there's something to find and you don't find it now, it will be that much worse later. You are not a beater car that can be driven into the ground. There is no new you to buy when this you gets too beat-up. Do the recommended maintenance.

Also, stop making your girlfriend/wife/significant other/whatever nag you about going. She doesn't want to be put in a position to nag any more than you want to hear it. She just cares about you and wants you to be healthy.

Thank you.

Love,
Jess

The dream I had

Rick, from work, is an older gentleman. Nice guy, pretty funny. We work in an environment where some technical troubleshooting comes into play from time to time, and on the geekiness scale from Pac Man to Marlboro Man, he's way on the cowboy end of the spectrum.

That's why it surprised me, even in my dream, when Rick told me that he played World of Warcraft and had epic characters with much sought-after gear. He dropped terms that only a WoW gamer would know. I don't think the detail of the dream actually specified which ones, but the understanding was achieved in the dream. He said he was having a big LAN party at his house, and I should go.

Cut to the party. I get there and Rick logs in and shows me his character. It's all decked out in epic gear and he's got lots of money. I'm still stunned that this is Rick. I shrug off my amazement, and log into my own account.

Suddenly it's not a party, it's an intervention. It's a big room with a folding chair in the middle and other chairs arrayed in a semi-circle in front of it. Friends and family are there, and they're telling me that I have to give up World of Warcraft because it's destroying my life. Rick is there, leading the charge, spouting questionable statistics and "facts" that sound like they're straight out of a pamphlet for an organization with an anti-gaming agenda. I'm stunned and I really have nothing to say. I am sitting there with the words falling around me and trying to figure out why Rick had a character that was so powerful if he hated gaming so much.

Then realization dawns. An image solidifies in my memory of the screen where he showed me his stats. The "camera" of my dream perspective zooms in, and the level of the character is a zero. I race from the chair over to my computer and log back into my account, and my character has been cleaned out. All of my loot and gold have been stolen. I turn angrily on Rick and accuse him of staging the intervention to steal my stuff. He denies involvement.

I ask Rick where he learned enough about gaming to lure me in, and he shows me the website for the association that trained him to stage these interventions for the betterment of mankind. I do a bunch of research and show Rick that he had been duped as well. The leader is a scam artist.

The scam involves a member of the group coming out to the dupe's house to set up the network for a LAN party trap. This is necessary for most of the people who are hosting these interventions because they are, by and large, either technophobes or at least not very tech savvy. The way they set up the network, they can grab any information sent through it, including passwords. Their dupe is instructed to keep up the charade until the target has logged into their account(s), and then to spring the intervention on them. The dupe thinks the intervention is the goal... but the reality is that while he's keeping the target busy, the scammer is busy breaking into their account and stealing stuff so that it can be sold on eBay.

Some things to note in the aftermath - I haven't played WoW in years, I never had an account worth enough to justify this amount of work, there is no level 0 in WoW, and why the hell would you go to all the trouble of faking having a bunch of gold and loot and NOT fake a high level?

It's still a really detailed story that had a twist ending, and I was pretty impressed with myself for creating it in my sleep.

Song for you-know-who

Poor Shakespeare

I’ve got an idea
Tell me what you think
We’ll pack a couple of sandwiches
And bring something to drink
We’ll get into your car
And drive an hour or two
I’ve got an idea
‘bout what we should do

The ides of March
Belong to you and me
Shakespeare has nothing now
But I just can’t feel bad

I’ll take some pictures of you
Like I did before
Leaning back and smiling up
At the one that you adore
Bits of leaves in your hair
And scattered on the ground
I’ll take some pictures of you
And keep them around

If we were Will’s
We’d speak iambicly
Strut and fret upon a stage
And be heard no more

Let’s go for a drive
And bring the blanket, dear
Additional significance
Will warm us through the year
Riding shotgun with you
Who cares if it’s cold?
Let’s go for a drive
And let our story unfold

Riding here next to you
Our story unfolds
And you and I will decide
How it will be told

(copyright 2010, Jessica Kent)

Pathfinding

On trail
We follow the chalk and flour
Under and among and past and through
Sweating and smiling
Singing and panting
Occasionally recalibrating
Sometimes backtracking
On-on to the celebrations
And then to other trails
In the weeks and months and years to come


Copyright 2009 Jessica Bragg

WTF, man?

I'm really kinda sick of calling the Division of Jurors in NY to explain that I haven't lived there in over 10 years. Srsly. Get it together.

I'm still alive

My health is steadily improving. My lungs are actually filling with real air!

My relationship with Thomas is still going strong and we are very, very much in love. We celebrated two months together the other day, and he brought me a balloon at work that reads "Thanks for a job well done!" He's a smart-ass.

Work is going well. My stats are slowly improving and my confidence in my knowledge is growing. I've found my informational niche and enjoy being the go-to person for my peers on a couple of topics. I also got to see some hard work pay off the other day when I made a specific caller my personal project for a portion of the day and resolved a complicated issue, getting a charity account back up and running. It felt good to get the account functional, and to solve the problem, and to have been the only one to solve the problem so far.

My trip to NYC was pretty good. I got to fulfill 3 of my 4 cuisine procurement objectives, and see about 75% of the people I hoped to see. I got very drunk and left my phone in a cab, but I have my replacement and I'll survive the loss. I hashed twice while I was there, and it feels like New Yorkers do it all wrong (how's THAT for an exchange of loyalties!) I'll post about that eventually in my Hash Blog.

Updates

Health:
I am finally over the worst of the plague. I had a 102.7 fever, chills, body aches, weakness, etc, and it was pretty scary. It's settled in my chest so I have a pretty gnarly sounding cough, but I am definitely on the upswing. The really good part is that, as a result of being sick,I finished reaching one of my big weight loss goals and I am now half the weight I was when I began my journey 4 years ago.

Love:
I am still head over heels in love with Thomas. He took really good care of me while I was sick, and as a result ended up catching the plague from me. He ended up with a fever over 105 degrees, and was delirious with hallucinations at one point. He really freaked me out. I mean, I was mostly scared for his safety, but I was certainly also concerned about the possibility of being stuck with a boyfriend whose brain cells were all cooked. I mean, it's not like I could leave him after he got that way taking care of me. I keed, I keed.

Money:
Still fretting hardcore about money. I'm supposed to meet with Michael today to do taxes, but he hasn't gotten back to me. I'm really afraid we will owe again this year, and I have no idea where we'll find that money. I'm frantically juggling my bills and keep discovering ones I've missed. My plane tickets for my trip on the 18th to visit my family are paid for, but just totaling some of the incidental expenses for the trip in my head is making my stomach hurt. I put in my application for West at Home, and am hoping to get a decent assignment where a handful of hours a week will mean a little extra breathing room. I'll have to get a land line installed in order to do it, so that's an expense... sigh.

Miscellaneous:
On a lighter note, my cat gave me a back massage the other day. No joke. He was doing that kneading thing that cats do, and he was a few inches away from the part of my back that was hurting from my shoulder injury. I gently scooched a bit so his kneading would line up with it, and he gave me a really nice massage for a full minute. I wish I could train him to do that on demand.

Diving in headlong

I'm in it completely. There's no caution anymore for either of us. We're both utterly invested. I trust him to be honest and devoted and to want to give me more than any ten people could. More importantly, I just trust him entirely. I'm much more okay with this than I ever imagined I would be.

And see what he has written about me

Here, and here.

The first link is a heart-wrenching post where he tells our story from his side, and the second is the poem he wrote for me for Valentine's Day. (My gift to him was this.)

My resolve is slipping

How am I supposed to hold my ground when he makes me feel like this?








There are more pictures from The VIP party last night here.

Considering reconsideration

Well, I've stepped into it again.

First, let me catch you (all 3 of my readers) up on some events:

I'm not divorced yet. Michael and I are not getting back together, but we also haven't felt urgency about pursuing the divorce yet. We're communicating civilly, we still care about one another quite a bit, and we're being adult-type humans about the situation. This is a goodness. The last thing in the world that I want to do is cause him any more hurt. The decision to split was about stopping the damage we were doing to one another.

Since then, I have been in a few intense relationships and several peripheral involvements, all the while maintaining my sovereignty, and certain that I will be polyamorous and autonomous forever. I have been certain that I will not marry again, and absolutely never will I mix finances again... and while I have nothing against falling in love and love to do it frequently, my plan was to do it at arm's length going forward.

Plans are so quaint.

So, along comes Thomas. He works at SpendFriend too. He and I exchanged a few casual words and flirted ever so gently. He claims he recognized the chemistry first, but I caught on pretty quickly thereafter. Within days we were both certain that we were in pretty deep water. We chalked it up to New Relationship Energy at first, but before long we realized that beneath that, we have been falling deeply, undeniably, ridiculously in love. Mentally I have been doodling hearts in my imaginary Trapper Keeper, and writing my first name and his last name, and packing his kids' lunches. One day I confessed these imaginings to him, and instead of getting a wild, cornered look in his eyes, he smiled and sighed and decided it was a beautiful concept to consider. We're both aware that it's silly to even toy with such ideas so soon, but we're opting to kid ourselves that we do it with a grain of salt and cynicism.

There's only been one other person that I fell for so rapidly and so completely. He and I got married and I spent 5 years with him. I don't regret that time. I regret that Michael and I weren't able to fix the problems as quickly as they arose. My interaction with Thomas feels that intense and that pure, and feels like a second chance at The Great Relationship.

So, here I am, giddy and optimistic, and enjoying building this gloriously fantastic construction with a man with whom I can imagine another, different, successful forever... and we come to a crack in the foundation. It's a pretty significant issue.

I had been up-front with Thomas from the beginning about my polyamory. He admired it in me, and thought that it's a great way to be. He was okay with accepting it as just another aspect of my personality, and didn't react jealously when I spoke about others I was seeing. He was understanding and supportive when I was reeling from two break-ups with the other men I had been dating. It eventually became clear to him, however, that as he fell more deeply in love with me, his ability to share me was waning. He arrived at the conclusion yesterday, that he would not be able to handle it in our relationship. He says it's not jealousy, or a need to control, or insecurity about how I feel about him. It's complicated and I almost understand how it isn't those things. I'm trying to get it.

*sigh*

Furthermore, he told me that he will not allow me to sublimate again, because he knows that I did it in a past relationship and had stated firmly that I wouldn't do it again. So, he can't acclimate to polyamory, and says he won't accept me converting to monogamy, but he's not walking away either. What am I supposed to do with this?

In my experience in mediation, I've learned that resolution is most likely to occur if both parties are predisposed to examination first and foremost of what they're willing to compromise in order to make things work. I have endeavored to do that whenever I am confronted with a dispute.

So we had a long talk. We arrived at some compromises... for now. I have a small fear that the tenuousness of the arrangement will override the purity of the connection we're establishing... and I would almost welcome that. If I could only fall out of love with him, the problem would be solved. But, I don't foresee that happening. We're too good at respectfully and productively examining differences. The connections we've made and discovered and keep making and discovering are too perfect in their formation.

...And the sex is phenomenal. I mean, really. Life-changing. Transcendent. But, anyway.

I continue to consider what I am willing to give up. I continue to consider consequences of every sacrifice, and the consequences of standing firm on individual points. I want to just surrender entirely to him, but the way that we handle this initial crisis sets the tone for every difference of opinion to come. It feels petty to weigh the details like this, but it also feels necessary.

So, what's the current status? We're good. We're together. We're in love. We're communicating. We're sharing. We're still giddy to see one another. We're not pretending that we don't have a problem, but we're also not going to focus all of our energy on beating our fists against it. It's a crossword puzzle to set down when stumped and pick up again later when perspective is fresh.

Cross your fingers for us.

Zombie Walk 2008/Zombie Trash the Dress

Pictures of me from the Omaha Zombie Walk 2008, which was also my Trash the Dress with Chris Tierney. A few of the pics were taken by other photographers, as noted below.

Photo above by Marquis de Lather.







Photo above by BoomerangThang.

Photo above from pollywogfoto.

A couple more sand pictures

Sand art

I found a nifty site called thisissand.com. I made the following picture:

Hash migration

Posts specifically about hashing stuff will now be made in my new hashing blog, Tales From the Tap.

Take my breath away

On Saturday, I believed that the trail was kicking my ass because I'm out of shape, or because I'm anemic and haven't been on top of my iron intake, or because I didn't eat that day. Well, it was probably a little of all of that, but it was also probably due to Alinia.

I'm on Alinia to treat my resistant clostridium difficile, which is a bacterium that lives in a lot of people's digestive tracts, but severely affects a very small (but growing) percentage of the population. It's amazingly tenacious in those individuals. I'm part of an exclusive set of people who are paving the way for treatment of this affliction, because doctors are throwing treatments at us and seeing what sticks. Alinia, which has previously been used to treat patients with cryptosporidium, is what worked for me last time. We'd tried a very long course of Vancomycin - I mean, thousands of dollars worth (thank God for health insurance) which worked briefly but then stopped working. Then the doctor put me on a 9 day course of Alinia, which worked like a charm and I was fine for a long while. Then I started having symptoms again a few months ago.

So, the doc has me on Alinia again... and I have been on it for 5 days with 4 to go. The problem is, I have noticed fatigue, dizziness, and an inability to draw deep breaths. Initially, I chalked it up to the reasons I listed in the first paragraph. I was out on trail in the heat, carrying a backpack, and I am not used to a lot of activity. But then in the last few days, I realized I am having trouble drawing a deep breath even while at a resting state. My fatigue is greater than can be explained from my level of activity, and I am back on the right amount of iron and eating properly.

I called the I.D. doc who put me on the stuff, and he told me that Alinia hasn't really been tested in courses of longer than 3 days. He said it's always possible that there is another reason for the shortness of breath etc, but that I should see my Internal Medicine doc to discuss it. He and I are both reluctant to take me off of the medicine if doing so will allow the c. diff to rally, especially since we don't really have a next step to try. So I made an appointment with my Internal Medicine doc for tomorrow afternoon, and I'm to keep an eye on my symptoms in the meanwhile and go to the ER if things get bad.

Just as the icing on the cake, tomorrow morning I am scheduled for an interview for a position I really want at work. I have been waiting for this posting to open for a year, and I need to get it. Now I have to do the interview all wound up from this medication and feeling like crap. This is far from optimal, but I'm still determined to ace it.

My first hash writeup

I've recently begun participating in an awesome activity on weekends. The club is called the Hash House Harriers, otherwise known as a drinking club with a running problem. A pretty decent explanation can be found here, and the site for my specific chapter (or kennel) is found here.

Here's a reposting of my first hash writeup, which was for my third hash:


Recap: Omaha Hash #323 - First Burn Hash

I'd already begun writing this when Urine Sodomy piped up and said he'd take over for Flamboyatron, but Urine was nice enough to let me write this recap since I'd already started, for which I am grateful. Y'know how it is... when someone else comes before I reach completion that's okay, as long as I get to finish too.

The day was bright and hot as we trickled into Buffalo Wild Wings. The mood was good and everyone was happy to see Hand Solo, back from the dead. Our group grew to an intimidating size - so intimidating, in fact, that the waitresses apparently were too scared to take orders, serve beers, and collect tips!

Eventually, everyone was gathered up by Cock Controller, who brought the pack out behind the BW3 and explained the marks he seemed to think he had used. He also gave the group his phone number before he sprinted off. The crowd was then entertained by Tico Taz singing a very amusing song about the days of the week and fisting. Then people wandered off for a few minutes, probably to find the men's room of every nearby establishment so that CC's number could be shared. Bronze Bunz awarded Hand Solo the Bra of Backsliding, which he manfully(?) donned.

After a short trip under a bridge and along a bike path, we reached a beer check, where Triple P caught up with us and Tico Taz fell into a hole (and didn't even get her name). Then we continued along the bike path until we saw Hand Solo doubling back along a street on the other side of a field. Being the lazy bastards we are, we gleefully cut across. The trail then meandered through a residential neighborhood where VW did some networking with the locals and gave out some of his hash cards, and Urine Sodomy got wood that lasted throughout the rest of the hash (if it lasts more than four hours, please call a doctor). We made it to a photo check we hadn't been warned we'd find, where VW promptly dropped someone's camera. Once the photos had been taken, we went on-on and were very fucking careful of thorns, as warned. Lost in Pi taught Thanks for the Mammaries a song to help her remember the digits of Pi, which is a good thing because now she knows that Pi begins with a 3. There was another beer check in some tall grass, but I was more like BUSHED Beer on Tap (AM I RITE LOL) and I decided to brave the possibility of insect bites and collapsed onto the ground. After many people helpfully offered a wide range of medical advice, we finished our beverages and then pushed through to look for the continuation of the trail.

After a while of not finding the trail, Bronze Bunz told me to go ahead and call Cock Controller, which I did. He said "go right", which I did. By the time I found the general area based on this detailed set of instructions, the pack was already picking up the marks on their own, which is a damned good thing because I wasn't very confident in the validity of "go right", anyway. Some of us climbed a gate, for which we received much ribbing from the folks who walked through the huge gap (still didn't get her name) that was two fence segments away from the gate we climbed. We then walked along a ridge until we came to the Turkey-Eagle split. All but a few folks decided to go for the Eagle. At the last minute, No Name Samantha and friends decided to switch to the Turkey, and did so by running down a steep hill. (Well - running down most of it... Sam decided that the last several feet might be more fun to traverse on her head.) Where the Turkey and Eagle met up, there was a Hash Halt. When the Eaglegoers finally caught up with the Turkeygoers, the pack progressed through some trees where it looked for a moment like the beer might have been stolen.

Finally we happened upon the beer at the final beer check. There was a declaration of necrophilia (from Hot Sement), and some spilling of alcohol (by Tico Taz?), and a hare was snared (though this hare was much cuter than Cock Controller, and was released back into the wild, where it was probably eaten by its mother for smelling like humans). We continued out of the wooded area and back out onto the street, where there was a K9 police car sitting on the street. Several hashers had some strangely paranoid reactions at seeing this. Hand Solo and No Name Nicki ranged out in different directions to find the trail, and the rest of the pack seemed satisfied to chill out at the corner and relax. No Name Nicki was the one who chose wisely, and the rest of us followed her up a hill and then down onto a pleasant little walking path that no one knew about. On this path, Tico Taz answered his phone to give people directions to where he believed the on-in would be, and I texted Cock Controller who had texted me because he was getting bored while waiting for us to show up. (We both drank for it later, of course.)

We then meandered through some more residential area, and into an apartment complex. A true trail arrow pointed people into a garage on one of the apartments, through which we walked to find the on-in and barbecue on the lawn on the other side. The apartment, unbeknownst to the hashers, belonged to Bush Beer on Tap (yours truly, this reporter) whose husband was there with Cock Controller, serving up grilled brats, barbecue wings, chips, and all manner of beverages.

After a short while, Urine Sodomy rounded everyone up for the circle. Violations were called, songs were sung, beers were consumed, and virgins were deflowered. Halfway through, we were joined by Hold the Meat, No Name Amber, and Deep Frodo, who brought his little hobbitlings with him. After the circle was dispersed, the hobbitlings expended copious amounts of youthful energy by running around and performing somersaults. Soon they were joined by Thanks for the Mammaries and No Name Vinie, who decided to have a drunken somersault race across the lawn, much to everyone's amusement. No Name Samantha and No Name Tasha were wrestling on the lawn as dusk began to fall.

I finally began encouraging people's departure, and people left to go attempt to find the on-after at Tico Taz's place, where I hear they finally arrived and watched some Carlos Mencia and drank some more alcohol.

In attendance were:
Cock Controller (hare)
Urine Sodomy
Penguin Pucker
Hand Solo
Tico Taz
Triple P
Bronze Bunz
Lost in Pi
Virgin Whisperer
Spring-loaded Pussy
Whack-A-Mole
Hot Sement
Bush Beer on Tap
Thanks for the Mammaries
No Name Anna
No Name Samantha
No Name Nicki
No Name Vinie (virgin)
No Name Tasha (virgin)
Hold the Meat (just for on-in)
No Name Amber (just for on-in)
Deep Frodo (just for on-in)
Frodo's hobbitlings (just for on-in)
Bush Beer on Tap's husband, Mike (whose patience and devotion are without bounds)

If I missed anyone or misspelled anyone's name, I apologize profusely. You may spank me for it at a later time. Email me for an appointment.

Love,
Bush Beer on Tap