Bottling up the crazy

So we've been messing with my meds, my doctor and I. Seems that the combination I was taking was doing wonders for my depression and anxiety, but was fucking with my sex drive and ability to orgasm. Anyone who has been keeping up with my blog knows that decreased sex drive and anorgasmia are seriously sucky things for me.

I am taking Wellbutrin XL for depression and Lexapro to kick up the anti-anxiety effects. Wellbutrin actually has anti-anxiety effects built in, but they weren't working well enough for me. The doctor decided that Lexapro is probably the culprit of the sexual side effects, and is of the belief that upping the Wellbutrin should do the trick. So, he has me taking half as much Lexapro as I had been previously, and one and a half times the Wellbutrin. He thinks maybe the reduced bowel transit time as a result of the surgery is causing less of the Wellbutrin to be absorbed, so hopefully of the horrendously high amount of Wellbutrin he has prescribed for me to take, some of it will stick. He has hopes that the Lexapro can be cut out entirely, eventually.

Well, the good news is that the sexual side effects are reduced. Not entirely gone, but reduced. The bad news is that the crazy is making a comeback. This is seriously not cool. I am testy and panicky and weepy and simply not entirely sane.

So, the question is - do I want to be functional in reality and dysfunctional sexually, or fucked in the head and awesome in bed? I was seriously hoping I wouldn't have to decide between the two, but as my doctor and I try and discard each of his ideas, I start to realize that the choice may have to be made.

I'm still thinking.